Compersion – WTF? w/Laura Grant

Date Aired: August 7, 2024

Produced By Janice Formichella

Want to add more flavor to the relationship you have with yourself? With others? Do you want to do it in a way that is just yours? This podcast is your chance to connect with an entire community who feel the same way.

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“And that is compersion. Vicarious joy associated with seeing one’s partner have a joyful, romantic, or sexual relation with another.”
-Laura Grant

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Episode Description

Compersion is one of the most talked-about (and misunderstood) concepts in non-monogamy. So in this episode, We look into what it really means, how to actually experience it, and why it’s not just about erasing jealousy. I’m joined by my brilliant, endlessly insightful friend Laura Grant, who helps me untangle the real roots of compersion and get honest about the very human side of loving beyond the conventional.

Laura and I begin with the basics: compersion is vicarious joy when your partner is experiencing happiness, romance, or pleasure with someone else. But, as we unpack together, it’s not the “cure” for jealousy or a badge of moral superiority. In fact, compersion and jealousy in non-monogamy often coexist, and it’s our emotional intelligence in relationships that helps us grow.

In this conversation, we explore

The origin and meaning of compersion, and why it’s a necessary term in polyamory and beyond.
How jealousy is not a sign of failure, but an emotion packed with information about unmet needs, insecurity, or past wounds.
Real-life strategies for communicating about jealousy, practicing self-soothing, and setting boundaries around what you do (or don’t) want to know about your partner’s other connections.
Why pressuring yourself or your partners to feel constant joy for others can be toxic, and why neutrality or even mild discomfort are perfectly valid.
The risks of using compersion as a mask or performance, and the importance of self-reflection, gentle curiosity, and giving yourself grace during the journey.

Laura and I share our own ups and downs with compersion, discuss the differences between jealousy and envy, and offer practical tips for cultivating a more collaborative, abundant mindset. Whether you’re new to polyamory or just rethinking how you approach relationships, this episode is a heartfelt invitation to embrace the messiness, keep growing, and lead with compassion for yourself and others.

If this episode resonates, please share it, leave a review, or reach out with your questions for future episodes. Your path to healthy, joyful connection matters. You don’t have to do it alone.