Family Estrangement

As seen on Solo: The Single Person’s Guide to a Remarkable Life

---

Play Episode

---

Episode Description

Family estrangement is a topic wrapped in stigma, secrecy, and emotional complexity. In this episode of Solo: The Single Person’s Guide to a Remarkable Life, I join Host Dr. Peter McGraw and Dr. Kristina M. Scharp to bring the conversation into the light. Drawing on Kristina’s research and my own lived experience, we dive into what family estrangement actually means. Why it happens, and how those who experience it can move forward with clarity and self-compassion.

Kristina explains that “family estrangement” is just one piece of a larger landscape of family distancing. This landscape includes marginalization and even involuntary separation. We tackle major misconceptions, like the belief that family ties are non-voluntary or that estrangement must be permanent and absolute. Instead, we explore how family relationships are deeply shaped by culture, religion, privilege, and personal choice. I share my own experience of being estranged from my family after leaving a Mormonism, I open up about the heartbreak and relief that came with finally stepping away for my own well-being.

We discuss:

• The difference between voluntary and involuntary family distancing, and why some forms of estrangement can actually be healthy and protective.
• The real reasons behind family estrangement. Abuse, neglect, substance use, or simply the accumulation of hurt; rarely about one dramatic event.
• Strategies for setting boundaries, communicating your needs, and creating space even if you’re not ready or able to cut ties completely.
• How chosen family and community, whether through local friendships or groups like Thrive, can help fill the void and reduce isolation.
• The challenges and stigma of estrangement, especially around holidays, and the power of new traditions and support networks.
• Why reconciliation is a personal journey, not a mandate, and how boundaries can evolve over time.

Dr. Scharp’s eight “estrangement continua” offer practical ways to reduce contact, set limits, or redefine relationships. Throughout, I emphasize that family estrangement is complex, individual, and sometimes even empowering. No one should feel shame for doing what they need to heal.

If this episode resonates with you, please share it, leave a review, or reach out to the SOLO community for support. You are not alone, and you deserve relationships that honor your well-being.

---

Go join the movement! Follow Peter and the Solo podcast:

Solo: The Single Person’s Guide to a Remarkable Life

---